we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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