Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
