even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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