I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
