So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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