i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
