Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
