It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
