He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
