he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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