My hand turned me down
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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