I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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