I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
