We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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