Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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