the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize