Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
