In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
