32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
