Princesses don't give blow jobs
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize