I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
