i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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