you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
