Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
