Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There's even glitter on my cock...
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