wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
