So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
