omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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