And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
