Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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