she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
