Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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