I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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