I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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