I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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