yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Porn is love you can see.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
