i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize