How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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