I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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