Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
