you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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