There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
