...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
