Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
