fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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