shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
