i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
