If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
