just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
