they need to just BURY HIM!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
