two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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