So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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