people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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