she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
