Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
