Porn is love you can see.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
