Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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