If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize